Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
