Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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