I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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