it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
