Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
