no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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