pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
