Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
