so that wasnt chicken after all
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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