you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
