dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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