dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
