Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
