I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh god it's open bar.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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