shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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