Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
