I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
