i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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