i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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