Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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