I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
