It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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