People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
