Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize