You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
