u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
