You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
