Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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