nut hugger
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
there is puke in my bra ... again
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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