I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
