Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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