i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
