All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Buhtt sex?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
