dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
