Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
