i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
