You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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