I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
