Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
