So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
