He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
