Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
