everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
