i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
