i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
