She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Randomize