East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
