she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He did a backflip because drugs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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