I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
