Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
