drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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