You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
